We’ve all had that sinking feeling, and we handle it differently based on things that have shaped us in the past.
The answer to something important was not what we hoped for, prepared for, or believed it would happen. But it did.
We’re used to seeing sports have winners and losers but as much as we like winning, it’s still a game. Some come out ahead and many don’t. Even if you’re a player and you’ve worked hard for this win, ultimately it’s still a finite game. It’s disappointing, but we usually shake it off and hope it goes better next time.
It’s the things that really matter to us on a life-scale that are harder to shake off. There may not be a next time.
– A doctor’s diagnosis
– Being turned down for a promotion
– Rejection by from a prospective customer or current client
What do you do?
Do you distract yourself with some activity like binge watching a TV series? Numb yourself with alcohol or drugs? Or just make yourself really busy?
Or do you accept what is happening and make peace with it as a talented person, yet with natural limits? No amount of positive thinking, manipulation of people or circumstances can bring lasting peace or joy when facing unwanted news.
It’s OK to feel bad about unwanted news, just don’t get stuck.
Peace and joy come from seeing life as an infinite game that will continue without us. There are no winners and losers in life, just players. As long as you’re alive and still part of this life, you can CHOOSE to play.
When a significant turning point goes differently than you planned, one option is to detach yourself from trying to control the outcome. Whatever control you think you had was probably an illusion anyway.
This is different from apathy or passive-aggressive indifference. Those have negative thoughts and emotions tied closely to them. Choosing to be detached from the outcome going your way allows you to focus on other people in the situation and show concern for their benefit more than yours.
This kind of detachment allows you to focus on what you CAN do and what IS WORKING so you can bounce back and keep going. You may have heard the phrase “Let go and let God.” This mindset takes humility which can be uncomfortable at times.
Once you push through that need to control, you may find a sweet freedom that allows you to experience peace and joy from serving others while taking care of yourself. Detaching from the outcome you want allows you to stay curious and find a positive tangent you never expected.
This curiosity allows us to see possibilities for health, career, or sales we would have missed if we stubbornly tried to control the outcome instead.
How about you? What can you stop trying to control so you can be curious about another solution?
Life is a team sport. Help your team detach so they can stay curious and enjoy the journey.
Want to talk? Find a time here.